Escape to Beer Mountain a Rope of Sand is the first episode of Clone High. It was written by Phil Lord, Christopher Miller and Bill Laurence.

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It's the first day back at school and Abe really wants to date Cleopatra. She tells him that she'll see him at JFK's party tonight but the only way he and Gandhi can get invited is if they bring beer. They try and get Genghis Khan to pretend to be 21, but he messes up every time, so Abe can only get non-alcoholic beer. Everyone thinks they're getting drunk, including Cleo, who kisses Abe. However, her current boyfriend JFK sees. Cleo calls the Teen Crisis Hotline and chooses Abe, but the police show up and bust the kids for underage drinking. The cop can only fit two people in the squad car so he arrests Gandhi, because he is acting drunk, and Joan because she's holding a beer. Abe then has to admit that it's non-alcoholic beer. Everyone have laughs at him , even the cop , and they are set free . Cleo leaves with JFK, but the next day at school she gives Abe a note that reads "Sorry, Luv Cleo".

Meanwhile, Joan wants Abe to notice her. When she hears Abe say that he likes Cleo because he "admires her commitment to community service" she starts a Teen Crisis Hotline, but the only people who volunteer are Gandhi and Mr. Sheepman. Later Joan wants to go to JFK's party and asks Gandhi if he will stay behind to work the hotline. He says he will, but instead he transfers the calls to his cell phone. He gets a call from Van Gogh and, trying to impress everyone, Gandhi puts him and speakerphone and everyone laughs at him and his sad story. Later Joan sees that Gandhi came to the party and starts taking the calls herself and she shocks Gandhi. She gets one from Cleo who needs help choosing between Abe and JFK. Not wanting to hurt Abe she tells Cleo to pick Abe. The next day, Van Gogh has painted a mural of naked Gandhi and everyone starts to laugh except Gandhi and Abe.

Also, Principal Scudworth must write a report on what it is like to be a teenager for the Board. He kidnaps Joan but without success. He dresses as a student and goes to JFK's party with his robot, Mr. Butlerton. He was beaten heavily like a pinata by Genghis Khan . Mister Butlerton have told to Shadowy figure that Scudworth know how is it fell to be like a teenager ( and pinata ) after this experience and Scudworth was spared...For now.

Pop-Culture ReferencesEdit

  • The first part of the title is a reference to the film "Escape to Witch Mountain"
  • The second part of the title is a reference to a dare by Christopher Miller's roommate to add "A Rope of Sand" to the title of every paper while studying at Dartmouth College.

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Guest StarsEdit

Micheal J Fox as Gandhi's Kidney.


By Starlight by Helicopter Helicopter (play when Joan is on the swing up until just before Cleo and Abe kiss)

Start Over by Abandoned Pools (plays when Cleo gives Abe the note)

Standard Lines by Dashboard Confessinal (plays when Abe and Cleo start kissing, and when Joan and Gandhi are getting arrested)


The title of Scudworth's report is the title of the series.

It's ironic that "Clone High, USA" was made in Canada. The title on Teletoon in Canada is merely "Clone High". Or, at least, it was partially made in Canada.

All of the main stars and most of the clones shown died young, with many of them being assassinated.

Gandhi used to be Cleo's foster brother and donated a kidney to her.

Cleo is numbers 1 and 2 of JFK's list of 150 women to sleep with this year.

Next: Episode Two: Election Blu-Galoo

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