Episode Two: Election Blu-Galoo

Episode Two: Election Blu-Galoo is the second episode of Clone High.

Synopsis[]

Abe and JFK both run for student body president. Meanwhile, Scudworth gets the school a corporate sponsor, X-Stream Blu.

Plot[]

The episode begins with Cleo and JFK presenting an impassable moat surrounding the Special Ed Classroom to the student body. Joan remarks that she is surprised at the fact that Cleo didn't fill the moat with acid. Abe replies that Cleo says that acid would kill the piranhas. Gandhi says the moat could be a good community building opportunity, and strips off his clothes to go skinny dipping in the piranha moat. Cleo ends her speech by getting all emotional over the fact that she's nearing the end of her final term as student body president and will never get to use her giant ribbon-cutting scissors ever again unless a giant needs a haircut. Cleo runs off, crying and Abe follows to comfort her. Joan tries to stop him because she knows that Cleo's just trying to manipulate him but Abe ignores her. Joan blurts out to Abe that she's so mad that she could kiss him but then covers this up by saying she said "piss glue" instead of of "kiss you". Gandhi comes up, naked and covered in piranhas, telling Joan just how stupid she is.

Cleo cries to JFK about how sad she is over losing her political power soon, thanks to term limits. She tells JFK that the only way she could continue being student body president is if "someone" becomes student body president after her, abolishes term limits, resigns, and then endorses Cleo as her replacement. She leads JFK to be this "someone", himself and then rewards him for complying with her by making out with him. Abe walks in to talk to Cleo, only to witness her tongue-darting JFK.

Principal Scudworth reports back to The Secret Board of Shadowy Figures about how things are going at Clone High High School. The Leader of the board notices that Mr. Butlertron is working on a model of Cloney Island, which is labeled "Dr. Scudworth's Evil Plan" and interrupts Scudworth to ask about this. Scudworth changes the subject to compliment The Shadowy Figure's Pumas. The Shadowy Figure explains that his government organization is being sponsored by Puma, so he and his crew get free catalogue-only shoes. Scudworth asks for a small load of $2,000,000 for dry-erase markers but he gets repeatedly rejected by The Shadowy Figure until he shuts the TV off. Mr. Butlertron suggests that he can get Clone High a corporate sponsor to help raise money for Cloney Island.

At The Grassy Knoll, Joan is surprised that in a school full of world leaders, nobody wants to run for student body president. Abe is worried about getting into politics, possibly on account of the assassination of his clonefather. Joan encourages him to run and offers to help manage his campaign and together, they can focus on the real issues like getting new bishops for the chess club. Abe agrees to run but only to impress Cleo, pissing Joan off into cleaning the table.

Principal Scudworth interviews the sports drink company, X-Stream Blu, a totally radical group that panders to the youth with what they think is cool, who wants to test market their drink on the students of Clone High. X-Stream Mike notes that the drink is just pancake batter mixed with blue house paint. Principal Scudworth doesn't have any reservations about just how disgusting and unhealthy this drink is as soon as they throw a bunch of dead presidents at him.

JFK and Abe make their campaign speeches. All JFK does is make empty promises and detail his workout routine, which earns him an uproar of fandom from the audience. When Abe comes out, he's greeted with a deafening wave of awkward silence, except for some applause with a few nerds in the AP-Calculus and AP-Physics class. He also gets some support from Piano Red, who hears that he's looking to install some tinted windows in the albino wing. After Abe's little speech comes to an end, Principal Scudworth enters and shows off the X-Stream Blu Crew, who wow the crowd with a crazy promotional stunt for X-Stream Blu, which gets all the whole audience cheering and supporting their company.

Abe goes home to bang his head against the wall over his complete failure of a speech being greatly overshadowed by JFK's speech and the X-Stream Blu promotional stunt. Gandhi helps Abe by inviting in the X-Stream Blu Crew themselves to sponsor Abe's campaign in exchange for Abe abandoning his values and doing a bunch of extreme stunts to help advertise their product. Abe chooses to sign their contract and do a nonsensical "Totally Radical" commercial for X-Stream Blu, which doubled as his campaign video.

After watching the video, Gandhi rushes in, drinking some X-Stream Blu, and tells Abe the good news that after polling all the girls in the bathroom, he found that Abe is leading the polls. Coincidentally, Cleo just so happens to come in and tell Abe that things aren't working out with JFK now that he's losing and she wants to be his girlfriend now that he's leading in the polls. Abe falls right into her trap, which angers Joan into deciding to abandon Abe's campaign.

Principal Scudworth and Mr. Butlertron both become super rich off of X-Stream Blu money and instead of saving up his money for funding Cloney Island, Principal Scudworth wastes it all on a bunch of frivolous junk like getting Mr. Butlertron gold-plated and lowered. Scudworth doesn't worry about his financial choices because he thinks that money never runs out.

JFK asks Wally and Carl about how to get people to like him. Wally tells him that he needs to be more like the Original John F. Kennedy. Joan comes to JFK's House in the pouring rain to tell him that she wants to manage his campaign because she's sick of Abe being Cleo's puppet. JFK sees this as her making a sexual pass, so he whispers to her something dirty about a "dental dam" and Joan slaps him.

At school the next day, Abe does a totally X-Stream campaign stunt, where he rides a windsurf board, attached with a bungee cord, to a monster truck, driven by an X-Stream Blu drinking Gandhi, back and forth across a half-pipe. This, unsurprisingly, leads to failure, as Abe gets himself crushed under the monster truck. Everybody in the audience cheers for Abe. JFK then directs everyone's attention over to the Closed Circuit TV, where he plays a smear campaign ad against Abe. The ad calls out Abe for changing his age every year and accusing him of eating babies because he's never denied doing so in the past. Everyone is swayed by the points made in this video and before long, JFK starts leading the polls again, as seen in the school newspaper, the Clone High Tatler. What shocks Abe the most is an annotation at the end of JFK's campaign ad, revealing that Joan of Arc helped make the production.

Gandhi packs away more X-Stream Blu and gets fatter by the minute. He tells Abe not to worry because things can't get any worse from here on, which, of course, they do. As Abe points out, saying that things can't get worse always makes this worse. Cleo comes in and tells Abe that things aren't working out with him and that she needs to spend more time with JFK, which coincidentally coincides with the shift in the polls. Gandhi tries to make things better by saying that at least things can't get any better but Abe tells him that it doesn't work that way. After Abe leaves, a butterfly comes up and gives Gandhi a dollar.

Abe goes down to the Thinking Docks at sunset to think about the events that have just unfolded. Joan is down there too at another thinking dock that turns out to be seated right next to him. Abe and Joan argue about what happened, with Abe telling Joan that she betrayed him in the polls in favor of his opponent. Joan assures Abe that she was only trying to help him because Cleo was manipulating him and he didn't know what he was getting himself into. Abe tells Joan that she's no longer his friend and that her betrayal is the second most hurtful thing happening to him, next to the nail he just stepped on. Abe storms off the wrong way and falls into the water and then gets back up to storm off the right way to go do another campaign stunt that's gunna be even more dangerous than the time Michael Dukakis jumped the snake river canyon, leaving Joan to dwell on her sadness.

On the night of the final election debate, the football team comes in, dressed as reindeer, and wheels Principal Scudworth and Mr. Butlertron in on a wheeled-hot tub into the room to proudly present The X-Stream Blu High School Presidential Debate, sponsored by celebrity panelists, Marilyn Manson, Mena Suvari, and fictional Wayans brother, Murray T. Wayans. Abe and JFK both make their epic entrances, while the audience cheers them both on. Cleo seems to be supporting both of them equally, unsure of who's gunna win.

Marilyn Manson asks JFK the question of how he responds to the criticism that unlike Abe (and himself), he's not going to put himself at risk of physical harm to gain approval. JFK responds to the scary androgynous white guy by taking his shirt off. Abe's rebuttal is that X-Stream Blu is mad-packed with all 9 essential "nutrimites" to fortify one's "X-Zone". JFK calls Abe a "cod muncher" and Abe refutes this again by introducing his most dangerous extreme stunt yet; a Giant Death-Defying Skateboard Ramp, complete with spikes, spinning blades, rings of fire, smashy things, a pit of alligators, and Dolphins. Abe intents to ride this ramp on a rocket-powered skateboard attached to his head, with the help of Gandhi, who has now consumed so much X-Stream Blu, that he's a big fat blue-skinned blob of fat.

Gandhi is so fat and unhealthy, that he fails to light the fuse on Abe's skateboard and passes out, landing unconscious on the ground. When Gandhi lands on the ground, Marilyn Manson checks on him, since he's a licensed medical doctor, and professionally deduces that he's suffering from malnutrition and orders Mena to give Gandhi a sub-q glucagon injection. Abe finds out that Gandhi's health scare came from all the X-Stream Blu he was consuming. He looks at the label, which tells him all the "Ingredaments", which are a bunch of pseudo-scientific crap like nutrimites, vitaminos, and health acids. Upon further inspection, Abe sees the fine print, which is a real label listing the only ingredients as pancake batter and blue house paint. Abe realizes his mistake and announces to everyone that for four days straight, Gandhi has been consuming such garbage and it was because of him. Abe admits to being a sell-out and claims that people shouldn't vote for him. Everyone boos and throws X-Stream Blu bottles at Abe as he resigns from the election. The X-Stream Blu Crew scooters on by and strips Scudworth of all his money, leaving him penniless and poor once again.

Joan picks up the microphone and announces to the audience that they actually should vote for Abe because a real leader does what he just did, admit to when he was wrong and stand up for what was right, even if it makes him look like a jackass. This gets everyone to give a round of applause for Abe, giving him the highest score yet on the Applause-O-Meter, the official voting system of Clone High. It seems like Abe is a shoo-in to win. However, a cute little puppy dog randomly walks up on stage and everybody things its so adorable, that they all cheer and squeal for the little guy, completely breaking the Applause-O-Meter. Scudworth, now completely beat, hangs his head and gives in, saying that the dog is the new student body president. Cleo comes up to the dog and starts making sexual passes at it, which the dog does not appear to reciprocate.

Abe reflects on everything he learned today and Gandhi, now a fat blue blob on the ground, asks Dr. Manson one last question; how does a growing boy like him eat healthy so he can grow up to be big and strong. Marilyn Manson answers in the form of a song, this being the peppy, upbeat Schoolhouse Rock-style jam, "Food Pyramid", where he details that in order to have a healthy and balanced diet, once must consume 5-11 servings of grains (bread, cereal, rice), 3-5 servings of vegetables, 4 servings of fruits, 3 servings of dairy (yogurt, milk, cheese), an unspecified number of servings of meat, and an unspecified but limited number of servings of sweets to avoid death. This establishes that everybody's bodies are temples (or pyramids) made of healthy foods that need to be taken care of with the right kind of diets. He also reminds the audience to buy American and fund this great and beautiful country. After this song ends, Abe adds that they did, in fact, learn that as well.

Characters[]

Major Roles[]

Minor Roles[]

Mr. Butlertron
The Secret Board of Shadowy Figures
Blushee
Snow Sharks
Number 4
Wally
Carl
Mena Suvari
Murray T. Wayans
George Washington (Non-Speaking Cameo)
Genghis Khan (Non-Speaking Cameo)
Julius Caesar (Non-Speaking Cameo)
George Washington Carver (Non-Speaking Cameo)
Van Gogh (Non-Speaking Cameo)
Winston Churchill (Non-Speaking Cameo)
Buddha (Non-Speaking Cameo)
Brontë sisters (Non-Speaking Cameo)
Martin Luther King, Jr. (Non-Speaking Cameo)
Lyndon Johnson (Non-Speaking Cameo)
Abraham Lincoln (Pictured)
John Wilkes Booth (Pictured)
Mary Ann Todd Lincoln (Pictured)
Henry Rathbone (Pictured)
Clara Harris (Pictured)
Original JFK (Mentioned)
Michael Dukakis (Mentioned)

Music[]

Food Pyramid

Trivia[]

This is one of the few episodes, where Abe is addressed as "Abraham", rather than the diminutive.
First episode with the Thinking Docks.

Cultural References[]

The title of this episode is a pun on the sequel film, "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo".
Abe references to the 1970's sit-com, Happy Days and it's constant use of the TV tropes, Tempting Fate and Rock Bottom.
One of the students calls Gandhi a Smurf, after his skin becomes unnaturally blue and he wears a white beanie.
Scudworth says "I watched the first two-thirds of the MC Hammer Behind the Music, and if there's one thing I learned about money, it's that it never runs out!" Behind The Music is a show about the biographies of musicians, and MC Hammer is a rapper best known for the song "Can't Touch This". Contrary to Scudworth's claims, MC Hammer filed for bankruptcy in 1996, going from being worth 33 million to being in debut for 13 million due largely to his extravagant spending.
The style of Marilyn Manson's Food Pyramid song is presented in the same style as songs from Schoolhouse Rock.

Historical References[]

Abe and JFK competing for school president is a reference to both of their respective clonefathers being former American presidents.
- Obviously, they didn't run against each other. Lincoln ran against John C. Beckinridge and Kennedy ran against Richard Nixon.

Grassy Knoll Graphic Painting — Lincoln Assassination Painting.

While Abe wonders why he's so afraid of running for school president, a painting in the background is shown, depicting The Lincoln Assasination.
Wally and Carl inform JFK that the original John Fitzgerald Kennedy was, as they quote, "A caring leader, and he inspired a generation of young people." JFK responds, "I thought he was a macho, womanizing stud who conquered the moon!". Both are correct.
The statement "Ask not what your student body president can do for you... Ask what" you can do to your student body president's body." JFK makes during the candidate speech event for the Student Body Presidential Election is a reference to a quote the real JFK said during his inaugural address "ask not what your country can do for you ask what you can do for your country".
Abe mentions a stunt, wherein Michael Dukakis jumped snake river canyon.
- This implies that the clone of Michael Dukakis attends Clone High, despite the real Michael Dukakis still being alive to this day.

Errors[]

In most of the crowd shots, during Abe and JFK's final election debate, Lyndon Johnson is visible, wearing a blue shirt. However, in the shot, where the crowd realizes they've been tricked by the X-Stream Blu, and glare at them in anger, Lyndon Johnson's shirt is discolored as red.